Surely to be the most shameful announcement ever made over a loud speaker, the Captain of a British Airways Boeing 777 was forced to announce that due to “liquid fecal excrement” a flight from London to Dubai would have to divert and return to Heathrow for health and safety reasons.

a group of people in uniform on a plane

I’ve advocated for British Airways fliers unhappy with recent changes to get in touch with the airline, but I never imagined that they would get so creative with the “how”. The flight from London to Dubai was forced to divert and return to London after a passenger left a horribly pungent dirty protest in the lavatory that simply could not be dealt with; clearly in response to the recent changes. For those in first class, it was incredibly difficult to decide which wine to pair with the overly pungent aroma, a true conundrum on this short lived flight.

a man and woman in a uniform

Good news for the passengers, they only have a 13 hour delay until the next flight, a marked improvement on British Airways usual delay standards. In all seriousness, this is probably the most unfortunate reason that I have ever heard to cause a delay on a majorly important long haul route. Accommodating and calming roughly 250 passengers who were forced to smell sh*t and then wait 13 hours for the chance to do it again is not a task I wish upon anyone.

British Airways, I swear I told readers to email you, not fecal you. 

Many Thanks to reader Chris for forwarding me this story. Of course my account is satirical. 

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Gilbert Ott

Gilbert Ott is an ever curious traveler and one of the world's leading travel experts. His adventures take him all over the globe, often spanning over 200,000 miles a year and his travel exploits are regularly...

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