You’re going to need lots of pixie dust, and by pixie dust we mean cash…
Rejoice parents, and the “never grow up” big kids of the world. Disney has just launched the perfect solution to ease your amusement park reservations. There won’t be any lines to wait in, you can eat anywhere you want and they even throw in some “free” drinks too.
You’ll have full behind the scenes access to the magical world of Disney, including the extremely rare chance to join the few Hollywood A-listers who’ve ever actually seen the “castle suite” and before you say “where do I sign”, there’s just one problem: it’s $12,000 U.S. dollars per day. But don’t worry, if you want to book a second day, it’s only $10,000.
Disney must be commended for their ability to help parents part ways with their hard earned cash. Every child (some fully grown) wants to visit Disney and what parent can bare to say no? There isn’t a parent on the planet who wouldn’t battle Scar (Lion King reference) to bring that kind of joy to their family.
With that said, I don’t remember a Disney story where the ultra rich kids got to run to the front and have the best day ever, and everyone else had to get sunburned in hour long waits just to board one of the countless rides. If that was somehow weaved into a story, it would surely be rectified somewhere before the musical finale.
Forgetting the flights and (expensive) hotels, a trip to Walt Disney World runs at least $80 per person, per day, but that’s if you’re going off peak and only if you’re paying for a four day pass for a total of $320 per person. Otherwise, kids start at $104 and adults around $120 – per day. Once inside of course, you’ll pay for all meals, toys and other necessities. For a family of four, a grand a day is not out of the question.
But fear not weary traveler, Disney has the perfect solution. For a cooler sum of $12,000 per day, up to six guests can enjoy access to all four theme parks while skipping directly to the front of each and every line via the “World Of Dreams Tour”. It’s like the $2997 private guided tour option with *some* skip the line privileges currently offered, but on steroids.
You can eat at any restaurant without a reservation, and even if it’s completely full, they’ll pull up a table for you, just like in the classic mobster movies. For $12,000, it only feels right. To ease things further, three meals for all and a selection of alcoholic drinks for the adults are included in the price. Come to think of it, it could actually be a bargain at this rate.
Then there’s Cinderella’s castle, and more specifically the Castle Suite. Taking in this ultra rare Disney experience was previously reserved for people who’ve actually starred in Disney’s biggest movies, or those who won an epic contest, but if you’re rich, you can now join those ranks. And no, you don’t get to sleep in it.
In case that’s not enough, Disney promises “special” transportation. One might argue that for the price, that transport better be a series of functioning Quidditch broomsticks zipping through the skies. In addition to these special means of transportation, the $12,000 pass guarantees prime viewing for any parades or nighttime spectaculars.
One thing is for certain, Disney is a spectacular money making enterprise effortlessly turning children’s dreams into parents credit card bills! There’s never been a better time to have rich parents. There’s always the DVD…