Taste the airplane food…

Turn on your television and it’ll hit you instantly: food is everywhere.Β  The culinary world has reached new heights, bringing everything from the finest dining to the fastest meals all on one screen. From Jay Fai to Gordon Ramsay, chef’s are no longer faceless talents, they’re celebrated mega celebrities toasted in the farthest reaches of the globe. Naturally, they’ve got cookbooks, TV shows and restaurants to peddle, but why bother when you can opt for airplane food instead? United has released what may just be the worst ever holiday present: a United Airlines cookbook.

United Polaris Cookbook

United “Polaris” business class has won countless awards….

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for being the worst marketed airline product of all time. The airline made much to do about the new bedding, bespoke seat and service refinements designed to make United business class one of the very best, but failed to inform anyone that roughly a handful of planes would actually offer the spiffy new service… up to this very day. In fairness, things are looking up for next year.

But before you find the exciting new seat and experience at an airport near you, you can bring the joy of reheated airplane food to your own kitchen with the United Polaris Cookbook. It’s the perfect holiday gift for someone whose senses and tastebuds have been dulled down by jet lag. It’s such a bad idea, it’s almost worth getting. There’s nothing like making people laugh.

For A Bargain Price Of…

For the bargain price of $29.99, you can master the immaculate presentation and technique that goes into microwaves at 30,000 feet and then onto a little tray for serving. It’s no secret that additional sodium is put into most airline food to help taste buds perk up at altitude, so if you’d like to bring swollen ankles and a desire for a big glass of water to your holiday party, charm the pants off of your guests with this not so cheap stocking stuffer. What does Eric Ripert, Massimo Bottura, Clare Smyth, Dominque Ansel, Monica Galetti or Thomas Keller know anyway?

This holiday season bring airplane food, home.

Satire is good for the soul.