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Surely to be the most shameful announcement ever made over a loud speaker, the Captain of a British Airways Boeing 777 was forced to announce that due to “liquid fecal excrement” a flight from London to Dubai would have to divert and return to Heathrow for health and safety reasons.

I’ve advocated for British Airways fliers unhappy with recent changes to get in touch with the airline, but I never imagined that they would get so creative with the “how”. The flight from London to Dubai was forced to divert and return to London after a passenger left a horribly pungent dirty protest in the lavatory that simply could not be dealt with; clearly in response to the recent changes. For those in first class, it was incredibly difficult to decide which wine to pair with the overly pungent aroma, a true conundrum on this short lived flight.

Good news for the passengers, they only have a 13 hour delay until the next flight, a marked improvement on British Airways usual delay standards. In all seriousness, this is probably the most unfortunate reason that I have ever heard to cause a delay on a majorly important long haul route. Accommodating and calming roughly 250 passengers who were forced to smell sh*t and then wait 13 hours for the chance to do it again is not a task I wish upon anyone.

British Airways, I swear I told readers to email you, not fecal you. 

Many Thanks to reader Chris for forwarding me this story. Of course my account is satirical. 

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