Did you know that it is illegal to appear visibly intoxicated while on a plane? Let me take this opportunity to thank the lucky stars that I write this from my home and not a prison cell, where by that law, I should be serving a life sentence. Hold me closer naked dancer sang no one as an intoxicated female passenger stripped naked aboard a British Airways flight from Kingston. 

The March 18th flight from Kingston to Gatwick, which a reader who doesn't enjoy my posts recently told me is for "chavs", was recently met at the gate by law enforcement after an intoxicated passenger performed a mid air strip session and solo sex act. Is there a glitch in the matrix? Was this another protest to Avios changes? From my best unqualified interpretation of the law, probable cause for being intoxicated may come in the form of singing "Like A Virgin" while stripping and holding a beer in the aisle of the economy cabin....


It's not all fun and games, this festive traveler will face serious charges in the UK. For her sake I hope they don't play the videotapes from the flight during the trial. Just plead guilty. I wonder if her fellow inmates will receive the same type of display. 

Note to readers: It's hard to collect miles while in jail.